Cyber Bullied
by BTRbelle05
Summary: When Katie gets bullied to the point of suicide, the four boys have to cope with the fact that they might loose their precious sister. But, when they find out what's actually happened, four mad and sad big brothers get their point across to the kids and even Katie. But will she even wake up from her never-ending coma..?
1. Chapter 1

**Cyber Bullied.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush orrr annyyythaaannnggg!**

**Author's Note: OKAY. I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS! SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT ITTTT!**

** I'm so excited for this story because I'm addressing a topic that most everyone can relate to. Bullying. More specifically cyber-bullying. Whether you've been bullied through the internet or not, I want you to read this because I'm trying my BEST to make sure you see how much it hurts!**

** I have been cyber bullied, but it wasn't as bad as most people have it. It was just a stupid message on Facebook with my entire class on there. These girls just broke me down, bit by bit. But, at the end of the day, they were just brats and I had my family by my side.**

** Bullying of any type, is NOT ok! No matter what the circumstances are! I feel that school counselors don't do enough to address bullying. Yeah, they bring us into an assembly and tell us it isn't ok. No, they just don't explain it right! And it frustrates me so much! I know from personal experience that if I'm being bullied, the LAST thing I'm going to do is run up to the teacher and tell them. "She's verbally killing me!" No. Just no. And I know all the witnesses won't either, because no one wants to be bullied for being a snitch.**

** If you are being bullied, I want you to message me. I want to try and help. Or comment and tell others how much it hurts! Bullying ISN'T ok. **

**Cyber bullying is just as bad as bullying in person. People think they're big and macho behind a stupid computer screen! No one will ever stop it, either. I think this type of bullying will just continue for years. People just don't do enough to prevent it!**

** I really hope this story hits home with some of you out there! I hope you enjoy it and I hope you tell someone else to read it!**

***Kendall's POV***

James, Logan, Carlos, and I were all sitting on the orange sofa watching TV.

"Hi, guys! Where's Katie?" My mom asked as she came in with hands full of groceries. We went over to help her.

"I don't know. We just came back from the studio a few minutes ago." I said.

"Oh," My mom said as she put away the groceries.

"Can you get her for me?" She asked.

"Why?" I smiled at her.

"Because I want all of us to go out to eat. She isn't in trouble, Kendall." My mother gave me a short glare. I grinned and shrugged. I ran upstairs and knocked on Katie's door.

"KATIE-KAT, OPEN UP!" I banged on it.

"One minute!" She called. I waited impatiently, tapping my foot.

"Yeah?" She asked as she opened the door.

"Why are you wearing a sweater?! It's like ninety degrees outside!" I said.

"Actually, it's more like seventy. It's September, not July." She smirked.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I said. "We're going out to eat." I said. She nodded and grabbed her shoes. I snatched them from her and threw them down the steps.

I picked her up and carried her downstairs. She giggled and yelled at me to put her down.

"All right, let's go!" My mom said, smiling.

We walked out of the apartment and into the mini van. Carlos, James, and I sat in the back. Katie and Logan sat in the middle. My mom drove and let her purse take up the passenger seat.

"Are we there yet?!" Carlos asked.

"We haven't left the parking lot, stupid." Logan turned around to thump him.

"Don't thump me!" Carlos glared at Logan. Logan just smirked. James thumped Logan.

"Dude!" Logan said. I thumped James.

"Boys!" My mom snapped. Katie punched each of us in the arm, hard.

"There, now you're all even." She said, smiling. We all frowned at her.

"We'll remember that later." Logan said.

"Yeah, with the attention spans you four have?" She laughed.

"Oh, baby sister, don't under-estimate us!"I said. She rolled her eyes.

We ate at the restaurant. I noticed that Katie barely ate at all.

"Katie, isn't pizza your favorite meal?" James, with a mouthful of pizza.

"Yes, but I'm not very hungry tonight." She said.

"You said that last night." Carlos said. She gave him a glare.

"I'm just not very hungry." She said.

"Someone's lying," I sang.

"Leave her alone, boys," My mom warned.

"Fine, fine," We all said.

We left the restaurant and returned home. My mom went straight to bed. Katie was headed upstairs when I stopped her.

"Hey, come watch TV with us!" I said, puling her onto the couch. She frowned.

"You all watch boring shows, though," She said.

"Sit down willingly, or Carlos sits on you." I said. She sat down in between James and I.

"KENDALL!?" My mom yelled frantically from upstairs.

I raced up the steps and into her room.

"What's wrong!?" I asked.

"Y-your u-uncle he-he's in the hospital! I've got to go, I've got to go!" She said, racing around her room and throwing things into her suit case.

"What?! Do you want me to go with you?" I asked, watching her with wide eyes.

"No, I just need you to watch Katie. Please, I know something's wrong with her, and I need to stay here and find out what's wrong with her." She said, sitting down and putting her head in her hands.

"It's ok, Mom. I'll watch over her. I'll have her come to the studio with us and I'll find out what's wrong." I smiled at her. She smiled up at me.

"Thank you, and don't tell Katie your uncle's in the hospital. I don't want her to worry." She said.

"I won't." I said. I went back downstairs and sat in between Katie and Logan.

"What's wrong?" Carlos asked.

"She has to go back to Minnesota for some time." I said.

A few minutes later, Mom came downstairs with her suit case.

"I'm not sure how long I'll be in Minnesota, but I'll call every single day." She said. We nodded.

"Be good, no parties. I'll find out if there's parties," She said, giving us a look.

"We won't Momma Knight! We'll be good!" James reassured her.

"Don't worry, Momma Knight, Katie and I will keep them in check." Logan smiled. She smiled at us and left. I punched Logan.

"Kiss up." I said.

"You're just jealous that I'm good and you're naughty!" He said.

"Logan, watch TV," I said.

"Well, this is boring, I'm going to bed." Katie jumped up. I pulled her back down.

"Come on, here! I've got an idea, we'll rent a movie off Netflix!" I said.

We rented some Disney movie that kept Katie's attention enough to stay with us. I wasn't sure what she did in her room, but I knew it couldn't be good.

"I'm tired." I said and left for my room. Carlos trailed behind me. Logan, James, and Katie stayed to finish the movie. It had a good twenty minutes left.

I passed by Katie's room and peered in. Her room was ordinary. Nothing stuck out that might be why she's acting different. Carlos frowned at me.

"Talk to her. Don't be sneaky." He whispered and pulled me out of her room. I nodded. The last thing I wanted was to be on her bad side.

**A/N: The Facts: Girls are twice more likley to be cyber-bullied than boys.**

**Kids that are bullied are 2 ro 9 times more likely to commit suicide.**

**Warning signs: appearing sad, moody or anxious, avoiding school, withdrawing from social activities, a drop in grades, appearing sad after using the computer or phone. **

**Review, favorite, and all that good stuff telling me what you thought!:) love you, guys! Have a good night! **

**(Sorry about the first, long A/N. Just had to get my point across)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: How's School?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Katie's POV***

I sat on the couch with Logan and James and finished the movie. As soon as the credits rolled, I sprang up.

"Come on," Logan pulled me back down.

"It's midnight," I said.

"I don't care. I want to talk with you." He said. James was nodding off. I crawled into James' lap. He smiled at me and put an arm around me.

"How's school been?" Logan asked.

"Boring," I lied.

School was anything but boring. Whether I was getting my face mashed into the school floors or getting shoved into a locker, school was awful. School was horrible. It made me feel sick at my stomach.

"How come you won't friend us on Facebook?!" James frowned, looking at his phone. "This never happens to James Diamond!" He said. I grinned.

"Well, that's just too bad." I smirked. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." I said. I hugged them both and left for my room.

I locked my door after me. I changed into my pj's and laid down on my bed. I pulled my laptop out and pulled up Facebook.

'Dirty Slut!'

'Dude, have y'all seen Katie Knight?! How can she be related to Kendall!? He's so HOT, and she's just flat out ugly! I say she's adopted!'

'We locked her in my locker! Look;)' A picture of a locker with obviously some one in it was posted.

'I swear, she was all over my bf. I'm gonna kill her on Monday! Watch out, dog face!'

'There are some people. And then there's Katie Knight. She's such a nerd! I bet she spends her days studying and reading cuz she doesn't have friends! I bet not even her brother wants to talk to her! Let alone James Diamond! LOL.'

I wiped away my tears. Why did this affect me anymore? Why did I fall for the traps? Why did I even care?

I put away my laptop and turned off my lamp. Why couldn't people pick on someone else? Why me?

I cried myself to sleep, again. Crying was a daily thing now. Not the good kind of crying either.

I used to cry every once in awhile, just healthy tears. But ever since I've moved to LA, I've cried every single day. Mostly at nights.

People love to pick on me. I try to come across as tough and strong, but I guess kids at school see right through it. Kendall and the boys don't! Bitters doesn't! Mom doesn't! Gustavo kind of doesn't! Kelly doesn't! So, why are a hundred thirteen year olds any different?

I woke up to banging on my door. I rolled away from the door. The sun blinded my eyes. I groaned. I got up and stumbled to the door. I opened it.

"What?" I glared at Carlos.

"Come on! Kendall is getting doughnuts! He'll be back any minute!" He said, tugging on my arm.

"I'm not hungry." I said and shut the door. Logan stuck his foot in the way.

"We don't care." He said, his hands on his hips. I pouted at him.

"Shower, now," He demanded. I pushed past him and went to the bathroom.

I took a fast shower and ran into my room. I closed the door and changed into skinny jeans with a white tee shirt. I threw my hair into a ponytail and slipped my grey converse on.

I walked downstairs right as Kendall entered the apartment.

"Oh, you're up!" He ruffled my hair. I fixed it and stared at them all.

"You're surprised?! i usually wake up before you!" I said, watching them carefully.

"Katie, we have work in thirty minutes. We're mature young men. Accept it." James said, shoving a sprinkled doughnut in his mouth. I smirked.

"Yeah, you're definitely an independent young man eating a sprinkled doughnut and still sleeping with your teddy bear." I said as I grabbed a doughnut.

"I do not!" He said with a mouthful. The other boys laughed.

"Denial's the first step." I grinned.

"At least I'm not addicted to stocks!" He said, spraying us all with spit and doughnut bits. I froze.

"Yeah, you got me." I said, raising my eyebrows.

My 'addiction to stocks' was all a lie. I told the boys and my mom that just so they wouldn't watch me on the computer. If they found me crying over it, I said I lost a stock. But they never did. If they set foot in my room, I shut the laptop and slide it under my bed.

"You're coming with us to the studio." Kendall said.

"No," I smiled.

"Come on, you can take your computer." Logan nudged me.

"That won't help." I mumbled.

"We only have to record five songs." Carlos said.

"Only?!" I stared at them. They were silent.

"You're coming with us!" Kendall glared at me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm thirteen, come on!" I said.

"Katie, it's not under negotiation!" Kendall said sternly.

"You aren't my dad." I snapped and ran to my room. I locked the door.

I loved Kendall, very, very much, but sometimes he just didn't understand. I hated how he acted so paternal over me. I was fine with his brotherly protection, but he wasn't my dad. He shouldn't be telling me what to do and how to do it. He shouldn't boss me around. I understand he's been the man of the house for eleven years, but I can handle myself. I don't need a dad, anyway.

"Katie, come on, we have to go!" Kendall banged on my door. I said nothing. I knew it hurt him when I wouldn't speak.

"Katie! Logan's getting the key to the doors!" He warned.

Silence. Dead silence. This was the kind of silence that scared me. The silence that sent chills down your spine. The kind of silence that makes you want to turn music on really loud and talk to yourself. The kind of silence where you feel that in a matter of minutes, someone's going to burst through your closet door and kill you.

_Click!_

"Katie!" Logan gave me a stern look. Kendall was completely still. He ran over and picked me up.

"Come on, don't be that way." He said. He was still bothered. I could tell.

I didn't speak the entire way to Rocque Records. I didn't even say hi to Kelly. I sat on the couch and let my thoughts sink in as the pretty boys sang.

Kendall watched me the entire time he sang. Soon enough, they were on a thirty minute break so they took me to McDonald's where I refused to eat or talk. Kendall and Logan ordered the pounds of food while Carlos, James, and I sat in a plastic booth.

"I'm about to pee my pants." Carlos said, holding his crotch. I bit my lip so that I wouldn't say something.

"Then, go to the bathroom, Carlos," James said slowly. Carlos nodded.

"I know. I was trying to get Katie to talk. It didn't work." He sprang up and flew behind the bathroom doors.

"Come on, Katie," James nudged me. He was sitting right next to me.

"Don't be that way, boo." He looked down at me. I ignored it.

"Katie, you're upsetting not only Kendall, but Logan, Carlos, and I." James now gave me a stern look.

"Quit being selfish and talk to us! It's not fun that we have to get yelled at like we're dogs, and it's awful that you're gonna ignore us!" James glared at me. I nodded, wiping away the tears. I got emotional when they called me selfish.

James had a slight talent at speeches and getting the point across to people. Sure, he didn't have Logan's vocabulary, but he was a good speaker. He just needed a thesaurus. And probably a dictionary to spell thesaurus.

He put an arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"You're fine," He rubbed my back.

Carlos came back and sandwiched me in between himself and James. Logan and Kendall came back with their food. Kendall threw a cheeseburger at me and gave me a look as if saying, 'eat before I force it down your throat'.

I ate the cheeseburger, slightly grossed out since I was in health class and we had just talked about fast food restaurants. But, I decided not to tell anyone else about it.

We walked back to the studio and I talked with Logan and Kendall while Gustavo had just Carlos and James sing into the mic.

"How's school?" Logan asked in the silence, again.

"It's ok. I like high school." I said. I'd rather not get into the game of, 'you all ready asked that!' 'Well, answer it anyway!'

I went to a public high school. My mom didn't think it was right that since Kendall didn't go to a private school that I shouldn't. I honestly didn't want to go to a private school. Cliques are worse there. And, to be honest, I hated school, so either way I wouldn't enjoy it anymore.

I was picked on all the time. It was just physical abuse, though. It sucked. I only had one friend who was, of course, a complete outcast. She had bright pink hair, that was died every month a different color, and she has almost every possible piercing except for on her face. Her mom hates nose rings and lip piercings. Her name is Brit. Her actual name is Britney, but she says ever since Britney Spears became famous, she goes by Brit.

High school, honestly sucked. It was either four years of getting high or drunk, or four years of suffering, and for me, it was suffering. I hated it with a burning passion. I had only one friend and she was extremely weird, not that I'm normal, but! High school was supposed to be the time of my life where I'm friends with everyone and nobody picks on me. But it's so far from that, that it's almost a dream to wish for more than one friend.

People constantly picked on me. Every. Single. Day. They wouldn't just shove me into lockers or call me a dweeb, and all of the generic stuff. They would pick on my for being Kendall's little sister, too. They said he was just a faggot and the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree. And, they accused me of dating James. They also said Logan helped me cheat, and that Carlos was all around an idiot, which is probably where I got all of my idiocy.

They also attacked me on Facebook. They knew the guys didn't have Facebook account, so they wouldn't see it. But that was wrong, because they do. their Facebook names are so random that no one can find them. example, James' Facebook name is Semaj Dnomaid. Anyways, the bullies actually abused me on Facebook more than in school. At school, I could handle it, but at home, too...? No. That's enough to make a priest break. And I've almost reached my breaking point.

When we got home, I immediately went to my room. The guys were too exhausted to care.

I locked the door behind me and laid on my bed. I pulled out my laptop and logged onto my Facebook.

I was addicted to Facebook. Even though people posted pictures of me from the locker room, and they constantly messaged me or posted on my wall telling me I'm worthless, I could spend five hours on there. Just looking at what the people are saying.

I had four messages. All the same thing.

'Dirty fucking whore'

'Ur disgusting! God, look at urself...'

'No one likes you, just kill urself!'

'Can't u just be homeschooled or sumthin?'

And a notification from Melissa posting a picture of me in the locker room. Of course, it was zoomed in to show the scars covering my thighs.

'Ew! What's her problem!?' You. Melissa. People like you are my problem.

I wiped away my tears and slammed the laptop shut. I tossed it underneath my bed.

Yes, I cut. I used to cut on my wrists, but I knew Kendall or one of the guys would catch on quickly, so I cut my thighs. Nobody except the girls in the locker room new about it. Until now. But the guys didn't know, so I was good. For now.

"KATIE, PIZZA'S HERE!" Carlos screamed from downstairs.

"We had pizza last night." I mumbled. I threw make up onto my face before heading downstairs.

"I'm really not hungry." I said.

"I said we should make tacos." Carlos frowned.

"I wouldn't eat those either." I snapped at him.

"Oh, come on, Katie, just eat with us!" Logan said.

"No, I'm not hungry. Why waste my time, sitting here watching you eat?" I snapped.

The guys all knew that Carlos could irritate easily, so when someone snapped at him, they over-looked it, but when I snapped at someone else, they didn't.

"What's wrong?" Kendall asked softly.

"I have a project due Monday. It's major. And I can't waste time with you all." I snapped once again before leaving for my room.

**A/N: hey, guys! Sorry for such a long wait!**

**THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND FOLLOWS ND FAVORITES! IT MEANS THE ABSOLUTE WORLD THAT YOU ALL ENJOY IT!**

**Suicide is the eleventh leading cause of death in the U.S.**

**over 34000 Americans a have committed suicide this year. **

**A person commits suicide every 16 minutes. Another has make sense of it every 17 minutes.**

**bullying in any form is NOT ok! If any of you feel down or depressed, angry, lonely, ANYTHING, TALK TO ME! I can help!bleep somebody else! Tell someone! Do something. The last thing anyone wants is to sit there and go, "If I'd just said something, maybe he/she would still be here." And no one wants to be left alone like that!**

**OK! So, this week/ next few days, I challenge you all! either compliment someone, or sit with someone who is all alone at lunch, or talk to a person who seems alone or upset! I know, it's hard, but hey, maybe you would give them hope that someone likes them. Or maybe, they'll think of you as a better, nicer person.**

**next chapter better have lots of reviews telling me what y'all did:)**

**Love you all and have a good day!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: The Unofficial Plan**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Katie's POV***

It was now Sunday night and my mother still hadn't returned.

I locked my door behind was Sunday. That meant tomorrow was Monday.

The boys had gone out to eat to a new sushi bar. I lied and told them I hated sushi with a burning passion. Well, that really wasn't a lie. But, I was pretty hungry and there had to be some sort of food not fishy.

I turned around and looked in my full view mirror. I bit my lip and removed my hoodie. I was wearing skinny jeans and a tee shirt. I glared at my appearance.

Why was I so ugly? Why couldn't I be pretty? Couldn't I just have blonde hair, green eyes, be tall, and good at everything? No, I had to be Katie, who was fat, ugly, disgusting, and the biggest disgrace of a sister and daughter.

I angrily wiped away my tears. I look at my stomach in the mirror. In reality, it was caving in, but in my head all I saw was fat. I picked at the skin hoping that at my touch it would just disappear. I shook my head at myself.

The boys were so nice to invite me out. I bet every time I said yes that they cringed, hoping I would have said no. I bet they love not having me around. They're so nice to not make fun of me, though. I can see why they wouldn't want me around. Who actually wants me around? Brit does, but she only wants me around so she doesn't look lonely. She has other friends, they're all just home-schooled.

I flopped onto my bed and hugged my pillow. Couldn't I just disappear all together? The world would be a better place without me. No one would notice. No one would care. No one would never, ever know.

* * *

I woke up to my alarm clock. I quickly shut it off and took a short shower. The faster I did things, the faster the day would be over.

I threw on skinny jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and a hoodie. I slipped on my Converse just as I did every morning.

I skipped breakfast and grabbed my backpack. The boys hadn't woken up yet. I walked out of the apartment and started heading down the street to my high school.

Today was the deciding factor. If things changed today, I wouldn't do it. If things didn't... Well, if they didn't, I would.

I walked into first period and took my seat next to Brit.

"Hey," She said, not even looking up.

"Hi," I said quietly. I jumped when someone hit my desk. A crowd laughed.

"I knew you'd jump." George said.

"Well, you would too if that happened to you!" I bit back. I smiled to myself. I never stood up for myself.

"No I wouldn't because I'm not a weak, little, baby, like you!" He patted my head, yanked my hair and left.

I looked over at Brit who was still doodling.

"Would you have jumped?" I asked.

"Probably not," She said. I sighed. Why try, Katie? Why try?

Class started shortly and the normal Monday dragged on. I was made fun at least twice every class period.

And lunch was awful. They took my school lunch and poured it down my shirt. I wasn't going to eat it, but they did it anyway.

Then there was seventh period. Seventh period was different.

"Today, class, we're going to take an eating disorder quiz." Mr. Harrison said, passing out a blank sheet of paper.

"The questions are online. You answer them truthfully, and then we'll all calculate our scores!" He said.

The quiz took most class period. We finished it and of course I had a 219, which meant I was one point away from getting the highest score, which meant I had a disorder. We had to pass the sheets in. I silently cursed myself. I should have lied.

He let us talk for the last five minutes while he reviewed the scores. Once the bell rang. students poured out of the doors.

"Katie, can I talk to you?" He asked. I nodded. I walked up to his desk, holding onto my backpack strap.

"Katie, I'm going to have to talk with your mother over this." He held up the paper.

"I don't think she'll hear you." I said. He stared at me.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"She never listens to me, so why would you be any different?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Katie, I'm sure if you'd just talk to her-"

"I've tried, Mr. Harrison! You just don't understand." I turned around.

"Katie, you sound upset! What's wrong?" He asked.

"Do you not see when you're standing outside your door?" I asked, turning back around. Tears fell from my eyes.

"I don't tend to watch students. You all are very rowdy." He said.

"Oh," I said. "Talk to my mother, but I bet by the time she gets the message, it'll be too late." I said.

"What? Katie, don't leave this classroom if you're thinking of suicide!" He said, standing up.

"I've tried. And I think this is just what I needed." I said. He sat back down.

"Sit down and let's talk! I used to be a councilor." He said.

"I'm not a freak. I'm fine. I need to go home. My brothers are waiting outside." I said.

"Oh," He sighed. "Well, tomorrow, I'll have the class leave for the gym and you and I can talk all class period." He nodded. I smiled and nodded.

"Perfect," I said and left.

Lies: He did see what they did, my brothers were not waiting on me, and I would not be at school tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N: YAAAYYY! Thought I'd give you guys this chapter and make you waitttttt until the next oneeeee;)**

**OH, GO TO service ! Check it out! Look me up: BTRbelle05 I'm writing One Direction stories on there! It's a brand new website! It's basically like this one, just a LOT less rules! Don't get me wrong, I love this site! But I get to post my One Direction stories on the other one! :))) So, make an account, it's free and you only need your email! Join it, and find me! Read my story called Pregnant. I'm very excited for it:) I'll find y'all back and read your stories! I'm verryyy, verryyy happy!**

**Oh, and Fix You by Coldplay played a HUGE role in the making of this chapter:)**

**Hope you guys have a good day/night!**

**(Oh, and keep sending those compliments! Good job to those who did! :))**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Someone Give Me the Definition of Knight.**

***Katie's POV***

I finally made it to the Palm Woods after five minutes of solid running.

"Katie," Bitters nodded. I looked over at him.

"Kendall said he wants me to tell you that he and the boys won't be home until later. He says you can come to the studio if you want." Bitters said.

"Thanks," I said. He nodded. He continued his working. I watched him

"What? Go away. I don't need to be watched by a child." He spat. I bit my lip and left for the apartment.

I looked around the apartment. No one was home. Just the way I planned it. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed it.

I ran to my room and closed the door, leaving it unlocked. I grabbed my dictionary and found knight.

_1.a mounted soldier serving under a feudal superior in the Middle Ages._

_2.(in Europe in the Middle Ages) a man, usually of noble birth, who after an apprenticeship as page and squire was raised to honorable military rank and bound to chivalrous conduct._

_ person of a rank similar to that of the medieval knight._

_4.a man upon whom the nonhereditary dignity of knighthood is conferred by a sovereign because of personal merit or for services rendered to the country. In Great Britain he holds the rank next below that of a baronet, and the title Sir is prefixed to the Christian name, as in Sir john smith._

_5.a member of any order or association that designates its members as knights._

I was literally none of those things. I wasn't noble, I wasn't a soldier. I wasn't even strong enough to stay alive another day. I wasn't a Knight. I wasn't even Katie. I was depressed.

Let me tell you, depression is like a black cloud that dances over you and lingers until the very end being death or treatment. Depression makes people angry, sad, frustrated... It kills people. Depression is a daily battle. And over all, for me, depression has won.

I highlighted the definition and left it on my desk. I wrote on the page next to it a little note.

I took off my hoodie and threw it on my bed. I took my chair and placed it under the hook that used to hold a baby's mobile. I heard a little couple lived here with their baby until they decided to buy a home, to have more kids and be happier. I sighed and shook my head.

I took the rope and tied it onto the hook and then tied a noose for myself.

I saw my phone light up and heard it start ringing. I ignored it since it was Kendall. I quickly grabbed my laptop and propped it up on my bed. I logged into my Facebook, just so they'd know what was half wrong.

Kendall left a voicemail so I listened to it. One last final time to hear his sweet, brotherly voice.

"Katie, I don't know if Bitters told you or not, but the guys and I are working late. Mr. Harrison, your teacher, called me. And, I want you to come over here, now! You have until four thirty before I come to the apartment and take you myself." He said.

I looked at the clock. Three forty-two. I jumped back onto the chair. I grabbed the kitchen knife and cut my arms one last time before sticking my head into the noose and kicked the chair with all my might.

* * *

**A/N: Whew. This was a little hard to write. **

**I am not going to continue the facts. They make me upset too much. ;( But, I encourage you all people to read them if you can handle them.**

**Have any of you seen Amanda Todd's video? I cried. so. hard. It was a good story to hear/read, but it was awful. Just flat out awful.**

**Annywwayysss, this story is cominggg RIGHT ALONG Y'ALL. That's American talk right there. Aahahaha! ;)**

**AND BY THE WAY. 14 REVIEWS, 15 FOLLOWERS, 7 FAVORITES, AND 200 VIEWS?! YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING INCREDIBLE. JUST INCREDIBLE. AMAZING. PERFECT. BEAUTIFUL. LOVELY. SWEET. INSANELY AWESOME. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!**

**And tell a friend about this story or any other cyber bullying stories out there:) Bullying needs to be known! And people need to stand up for it! **

**Have a great night/day, y'all :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: If & Only If**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Kendall's POV***

I ran back to the apartments. It was four fifty, and I had no call or text. I was getting a little panicky. I hadn't had a break until now. The boys trailed behind me.

I burst through the door.

"KATIE!" I yelled. Nothing.

"Katie!" I yelled louder as I raced upstairs. I stood outside her door.

What was I about to see? My sister on her laptop, with her headphones, munching away on some snacks? Or her dead? Or her gone?

My heart kept beating faster and faster. The boys were panting behind me. I slowly walked in and my heart dropped.

My hand flew to my heart.

"Oh my God!" I repeated over and over.

I was dreaming. This was just another nightmare that I'd wake up from.

"KATIE!" The boys yelled and began untying the rope and holding her. That's when I blacked out.

***Logan's POV***

I knew she was dead. I knew it. She was gone and the doctors would come out any minute and pronounce her dead. And it would be all our faults.

If only I'd seen it before! Katie was so, so, depressed. How did we not see that?!

James came in, supporting Kendall and holding the laptop.

"You ok?" I asked Kendall, who looked like a zombie.

"Where's Katie?!" He asked.

"With the doctors." I said.

"I just need someone to say it's ok." He said, sitting in between myself and Carlos.

Carlos took his hand.

"Kendall, it will be ok. I can't say everything's fine, now, but I can tell you, in the future, it will be all ok." He said, looking Kendall in the eyes. Kendall nodded.

"Now, can we take a peek?" James asked, opening up the laptop.

We crowded around him in the ER, reading Katie's Facebook messages. We saw everything. I put a hand to my throat. Carlos ran to the bathroom. Kendall put a hand over his eyes. James' eyes were wider than a country mile.

"Give it to me." Kendall said, taking the laptop.

We followed him outside where he threw it to the ground, shattering it.

"Kendall, that doesn't make it right!" James said. "Now we don't know who did it!"

"James, who didn't do it?! EVERY SINGLE KID SAID AN INSULT TO MY BABY SISTER! MY BABY SISTER!" He pointed at his chest.

"Kendall, we're just as mad as you are," I said.

"NO, YOU AREN'T! IT ISN'T YOUR SISTER! YOUR OWN BLOOD! MY OWN BLOOD! SHE KEPT THIS FROM ME! SHE TRIED TO KILL HERSELF ON MY WATCH! WHAT KIND OF A PERSON AM I!? LOOK AT ME, LOGAN, AND TELL ME!" He screamed.

"Kendall, calm down!" I yelled.

"She could be dead, and it'll be all my fault!" He broke down crying. James and I sat next to him on the grass. He cried into James' chest.

"I'll go get Carlos." I said and left for the bathroom.

"Carlos," I looked at him. He was sitting on the floor, sobbing.

"If we'd just seen it earlier," He sobbed.

"I know, buddy, I know. But, we have to be strong right now, for Katie and Kendall, but mainly Katie who's fighting for her life. And, really she may not be alive right now. And in the end, she may not come out alive. But, we've got to be strong. And later, when this is all done, we're going to her school, and kicking some serious ass. But right now, we've got to go out there and comfort Kendall and wait for Katie's status." I said. Carlos nodded and we left the bathroom.

Kendall and James were back in the waiting room, sitting in silence.

A nurse looked at us.

"You boys need some coffee." She said.

"We need some information." Kendall said. I glared at his rudeness.

"On who?" She asked.

"Katie Knight," He said.

"Oh, that's good, cause I've just got her chart." She said, holding up a folder. We rushed over to her.

"Well, she's alive, but in a coma. Boys, this was a miracle. Not most people live after hanging themselves. That was quick thinking on your part."

"It wasn't quick enough." Kendall said.

"She's alive, though-"

"That's not what he means. It was a suicide attempt." I said. She nodded.

"She's in the ICU. A doctor is taking care of her, so he'll have more information." She said. "Room 316."

We all crammed into an elevator and beat on the three button.

* * *

**A/N: SPRING BREAK. MORE UPDATES, GUYS! Might be another one tonight, definitely tomorrow! WOOP, WOOP! :)**

**THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING ON THIS STORY! IT IS ALL MUCH APPRECIATED! **

**If ANY of you are being bullied or need someone to talk to, I'm right here:) just click the PM button. Please, I enjoy it. :)**

**Pass it on, guys:) Love you all and have a great night! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: A Mother's Love...And Wrath...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Kendall's POV***

We were all four in Katie's hospital room, watching her. The machine was breathing for her. So basically, she was dying and we were her only support.

"Kendall?" Logan asked me. I looked up at him. He was sitting on the couch with Carlos. James and I were on either side of Katie, holding her hands.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Maybe we should call your mom." He said. I nodded and pulled out my phone. I dialed her number.

"Kendall! I'm about to board a plane back home! Your uncle is all better and back home! How are you guys?! How's Katie?!" She asked.

"That's great, Mom," I said. "Uhm, well, we aren't very well. We-we're at the hospital." I said.

"Why? What happened?" She asked, getting frantic.

"Katie tried to kill herself." I said, holding back the tears. She started sobbing.

"What?!" She screamed.

"Look, Mom, I'll explain everything when you get here. She's alive, now. You just need to hurry because the doctor said he isn't going to let her live on this machine for the rest of her life." I said.

"What does that mean!?" She asked.

"It means she's on life support and they aren't seeing Katie leaving here." I said. She sobbed harder.

"Listen, Mom, you've got to pull it together and get on that plane. If you wait for the next flight, who knows may happen, ok?" I asked, wiping away the tears.

"Yeah, ok, I-I'm on the way. Kendall, I love you," She said.

"I love you, too," I said. We hung up.

"Kendall?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah?" I looked at him.

"Don't you want to kick the asses of those little shits that made Katie do that?" He asked. We all stared at him. Carlos rarely ever cussed.

"Yeah, I do, but, unfortunately, I'm a complete dumb ass and I threw her laptop on the ground and I'll never know." I smiled, sadly.

"Well, I found her password." He said. "And I wrote down all the names of every single person on the list. A-and I sent the list to the principal at her school. And, on Friday, there's a meeting with all those kids, so maybe we could all go there and talk about it a-and we can yell at them." He said, nervously. I smiled.

"Thanks, Carlos," I said.

"What day is it today?!" James asked.

"Wednesday," Logan yawned.

"Why don't you three go home and shower and sleep?" I asked.

"We can't." James shook his head.

"No, guys, I'll be here. It's ok." I said.

"Alright, thanks, Kendall. Call us if anything happens." Logan said. I nodded and they left.

I looked at Katie. My poor little sister. I saw her bandaged wrists and breathing tubes. I started crying at the site of her. My baby sister felt so bad about herself that she had to kill herself to get away from it. She had to do that to escape.

I couldn't wait for Friday. I would kick each of their asses. I don't care how many years in jail I'll have to serve. They're all just little pieces of trash.

"Katie, I love you. And, maybe you killed yourself because I didn't say I love you enough. Or maybe because Mom didn't say it enough. Or maybe I didn't spend as much time with you. And I know, it is my fault. I should have noticed you more. And I should have been a big brother. And I should have been better. And the second I say you not breathing, I felt sick to my stomach. I still do. I could almost puke on you right now, honestly. But, like not on you on purpose, like just right now." I shook my head at myself. "Anyways, I love you, a whole freaking lot, baby sister. And, I would give away everything I own to see you smile. To even know that you hear me when I say I love you, because then I'd feel a little bit better. But, not enough to forgive myself. Someday, I will forgive myself. I can bet that. But, I don't think it will ever happen if you don't wake up. Or in the next thirty years. I'll probably be eighty, in a wheelchair, hardly remembering who I am, and still thinking of you and how you died at fifteen because I was a fuck up. And I'm rambling on and on, and I just need to shut up." I said. "Please, wake up." I whispered. "I love you too much to lose you now." I said as tears fell onto her hospital gown.

I let go of her hand and began sobbing. There was nothing more I could do.

**A/N: Chapter six, my friends. This story is only halfway there. Whhhheewwwww. :)**

**THANKS FOR ALL THE AMAZING SUPPORT:) IT'S UNBELIEVABLE AND IT MAKES ME SUPER, DUPER HAPPY! I APPRECIATE IT, FROM ALL OF YOU. YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, REMEMBER THAT! 3 :)**

**Ok, SO. I made an account on a NEW website: noveljoy . com (no spaces!) I'm BTRbelle05, of course XD. Anyways, I'm writing One Direction stories on there, if you want to read it! The spacing is quite horrible, though, so my apologies. I'll try and fix it!**

**OH. AND I'M ON WATTPAD. Imperfectly_Me ! Find me and fan me or follow me. I've forgotten what it's called! I'll fan or follow you back:D I also am writing a One Direction story on there! I'm everywhere guysss :)**

**ANYWAYS, have a good day!:)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: James's Turn and Katie's Thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***James's POV***

It was now Thursday afternoon. Logan and Carlos dragged Kendall and Mrs. Knight away from the hospital and to the apartment so they would actually eat and shower.

I was now alone with Katie and it freaked the crap outta me. I held onto her hand lightly, trying not to hurt her. I smiled, remembering how she never cared if she hurt me.

"I remember when you would hit me because you had a crush on me, which you might still have. But if you did, I'm not sure why you would do what you did. It's not right, and as soon as you wake up, we're going to never let you leave our site, I hope you know. You will probably never ever get alone time anymore. Not even in your sleep." I smiled, putting her hair behind her ear. She was extremely cold. What if she didn't wake up?

"Katie, you have got to wake up." I said. "You just have to! If you don't our whole family is messed up! Kendall's considering quitting Big Time Rush so he can spend time here. He's so bull headed he won't tell Gustavo what happened, so we're dragging him to the studio tomorrow before we go to your school. Carlos is so filming us at your school! We're gonna kick some serious high school ass. You don't even know, Katie-Kat. It's gonna be awesome." I smiled, hoping the best for tomorrow. "But, of course, Logan thinks we're joking. He made a powerpoint about bullying. With facts and statistics. But as soon as he's done, we're going to kill them! All of them!" I said. "You're going to wake up! I know you are! You're strong! Just like Kendall. You're also beautiful. Perfect, in every way, shape, and form." I said. I wiped away the stray tears.

"If I'm being completely honest, when I was little I thought you were a very pretty girl. Now, I think your gorgeous, but all in a different sense. Back then, I guess, I liked you, but now you're my sister, and I can't like you because you're my sister, not my friend." I sighed. "But that's besides the point! I love you, Katie. Kendall loves you. Your mom loves you. Carlos and Logan love you! That's five people right there! Five whole hearts are loving you! And of course, your future husband loves you about twice as much as anyone! And you dad loved you, when he was here!" I said.

I paused for awhile and just watched her.

"I love you." I said and kissed her forehead before watching the boys enter.

***Katie's POV***

All I see is black. Pitch black. And then bright light! It fades so that its normal. I look around me and notice I'm in my old favorite park back in Minnesota.

"I remember when you would hit me because you had a crush on me, which you might still have. But if you did, I'm not sure why you would do what you did. It's not right, and as soon as you wake up, we're going to never let you leave our site, I hope you know. You will probably never ever get alone time anymore. Not even in your sleep." I hear a familiar voice James Diamond. I smile in my little world.

"Katie, you have got to wake up." He said. "You just have to! If you don't our whole family is messed up! Kendall's considering quitting Big Time Rush so he can spend time here. He's so bull headed he won't tell Gustavo what happened, so we're dragging him to the studio tomorrow before we go to your school. Carlos is so filming us at your school! We're gonna kick some serious high school ass. You don't even know, Katie-Kat. It's gonna be awesome. But, of course, Logan thinks we're joking. He made a powerpoint about bullying. With facts and statistics. But as soon as he's done, we're going to kill them! All of them!" He said. He sounded so excited. "You're going to wake up! I know you are! You're strong! Just like Kendall. You're also beautiful. Perfect, in every way, shape, and form." He said.

But you don't, James. You don't know at all.

"If I'm being completely honest, when I was little I thought you were a very pretty girl. Now, I think your gorgeous, but all in a different sense. Back then, I guess, I liked you, but now you're my sister, and I can't like you because you're my sister, not my friend." He sighed. "But that's besides the point! I love you, Katie. Kendall loves you. Your mom loves you. Carlos and Logan love you! That's five people right there! Five whole hearts are loving you! And of course, your future husband loves you about twice as much as anyone! And you dad loved you, when he was here!" He said.

There is a long pause.

"I love you." He said and moved. I guess he must have kissed my body. I can't feel anything.

I then hear him talking to the boys. So after I 'died', Kendall wants to quit his band, James loves me, I have a future husband, and the boys are planning to basically murder my entire school. Fantastic. I'm so excited to wake up.

If I'm honest, I don't really want to wake up. I killed myself for a reason. Obviously, I don't want to go back to the world where I have to put up with everyone's crap all day. They're pissed off and sad, so they have to make my life living hell. They enjoy their life because they have friends, and they prevent me from making friends or even liking life. They drove me to this, why should I make a U-turn and go back?

Sure, the boys love me, but do they really understand the bullshit I was put through?

I walk around the park and see pieces of an electronic device. It leads to a half broken computer screen and then a broken keyboard.

The laptop. I froze and hit myself. Of course, I left it logged in so they'd see it, and of course they probably saw what happened. And now I'm most definitely screwed.

I sigh and sit on a bench. Why can't I just wake up and not remember anything? Then, everyone will forget the past and some people might actually be nice to me.

I shook my head at that thought. Right now, I just wanted to see Kendall. I just wanted to hug him and say I was sorry, because I am. I'm sorry I did it. I'm sorry he saw it. I'm sorry I'm stupid. I'm sorry for everything.

But right now, my body was fighting for it's life. And I needed to be strong. And I needed to pray that it would survive.

**A/N: THANK YOU ALL FOR EVERYTHING. ALL THE REVIEWS. ALL THE FOLLOWS. ALL THE FAVORITES. ALL THE READS. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. MWAH-MWHA-MWAH! **

**Ok, this week I've got a challenge for you all! I want you to look in the mirror and say, "I'm beautiful." Or something like that! Have a positive attitude! Because you are you, and no one else is you! So, don't try and be everyone else! :) Just a little positive thinking for the week :))))) [I like encouraging people!]**

**I know this is weird...but I've already got the summary and planning and cover image for my next story...there's a slight obsession I have with this website. ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Carlos, Logan, Momma Knight.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Carlos's POV***

James had just finished his mini speech to Katie when we walked in. The three boys looked at me, and without saying anything left.

I sat down in the chair James was sitting in. I took Katie's hand. Tears where already falling onto my shirt.

"Ok, Katie, you probably got two great messages from two of the boys, and now you're about to get a disappointing one." I sighed.

"Now, Katie-Kat, I'm very, very, very, VERY, angry." I said. "And, not just at those kids who hurt you. At you, too! How could you!? We all love you so, so much! And, I know you're pulling through this because if you don't, then there's no happy ending for any of us. Kendall refuses to show up at the studio, whether he's here with you or not. Gustavo is about ready to fire us. James hasn't looked in the mirror, combed his hair, or even got his beauty sleep right! Logan doesn't eat healthy things anymore, he refuses to read or study, and he's failing school. Well, we all are, but it's Logan! It's a lot of effort for him to not pass!" I said.

"A-and, for me, well, this whole thing is breaking me down! Nothing's going right! Your mom can't stop crying! I can't even look at her! She'll burst into tears! And, you?! You're half dead because you wouldn't admit what was going on!" I said. "Katie, we love you, so so much. And, right now, we just want you home. And you aren't. And there's a big chance you won't. Just know, if you can hear, that I love you. A lot," I said and kissed her forehead.

I immediately walked out of the room, not being able to look at her another second. I went outside and Logan went inside.

***Logan's POV***

I sighed as I took Carlos' seat.

"Ok, so, I did some reading up, and Katie, I'm about eighty percent sure you can't hear me. But there's a twenty percent of me saying that you can, so I'll talk." I said and took her fragile hand in mine.

"Just know, that we love you and we're basically deteriorating without you. Kendall won't do anything, Carlos won't eat, James' won't sleep, and hell, I'm failing school." I smiled at myself.

"Anyways, we love you a lot, and I really am not good at talking to people in the hospital regardless, so I'm going. But, I love you!" I kissed her cheek and ran out.

Mrs. Knight took my place.

***Katie's POV***

Logan and Carlos gave me their 'Wake up!' speeches. It was silent in the room. I could tell someone was there though. I just knew it.

"Katie," My mom's small voice said, calm and quiet.

If anyone made me feel the most guilty, it was my mother. She would talk to me and it broke my heart. Now, I knew I had five people that loved me, but that wouldn't fix my body's comatose state.

"I love you, Katie. But, that won't fix you. It really won't. And it literally is eating me up inside that you were depressed and I didn't know it. And it kills me that all you needed was for me or the boys to notice and say something. I wish every single day that the clock reverse and I notice your depression signs, and that I help you, instead of basically letting you die." She said, surprisingly calm, still. Any other mom would burst into tears at 'Katie'.

"And, your teacher called me. I told him what happened. He went on a rant about how it was my fault, then his fault, then your fault. It was kind of funny, so I told him to eff off." She said. I smiled in my spiritual world.

"But, yet again, that doesn't fix things at all. It only makes things worse, but it felt pretty good. Anyways, my baby girl, I miss you. A lot. And I promise, when you wake up, go through some therapy, I'll be your best friend. I'll take you shopping, I'll talk to you, I'll be with you, I'll ditch dates for you. I'll be a better mom." She said.

"And if you don't, then I'll completely hate Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos and become the world's worst mom." She said. I smiled brighter. I could tell she was grinning her Famous Momma Knight grin.

"I'm joking," She patted my hand.

I felt my hand! I felt it! I felt it! I did a little dorky dance in my world. This meant good things. Soon, I'd feel everything, and then wake up!

"If you don't wake up, I'll throw you a party in honor of you. And it'll have everyone you know and liked. And then we'll bury you. Kendall and I discussed this with the doctor. He isn't very hopeful of you waking up, and I've come to terms with this, so I'm okay discussing it. Even to you. I love you," She said, kissing my hand then my forehead.

I. FELT. IT. I FELT IT ALL. I was yelling, screaming, and running around in the park. Honestly, of all the places, why was I in a park?

I assumed my brain conjured the park, being my favorite place in the entire world when I was about five. I guess this was the happy place for me.

I heard the boys enter and they began talking about Friday.

I smiled. Friday was THE day. They were going to kick some serious butt, which filled me with happiness and terrified me completely. But, honestly, I just wanted those kids to understand what they did and how it affected me. I know I'm not the only one that's done this. I know it. They need to know it's not ok. And they need to find out soon before someone else becomes the next victim.

**A/N: OOOOKKKAYY. My spring break is over:( BUT, I'm not gonna like wait until 344547545 months before I update... I PROMISE. A new update will be posted BEFORE Sunday..so only 7 days! :) I'm so excited for this story and for the chapters to come. THEY'LL GET BETTER. I PROMISE, again! hahah:)**

**I hope you all have a GREAT week! And keep sending people compliments and compliment yourself:) It really makes a difference! :D**

**Love y'all. Thank you for everything on the story. All the views, all the follows, all the favorites. It means the world to me.:)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: FRIDAY.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***James' POV***

It was officially Friday. My heart was beating faster and my body was jittery. I jumped out of bed a five in the morning- a huge feat for me. I took the first shower of the day and got dressed. I even hurried my hair process.

I decided that I should try and make breakfast so when the other boys come down, they won't have anything to complain about!

I made pancakes, and I didn't burn them, which was a second huge feat of the day.

At seven Kendall, Logan, and Carlos scarfed down my pancakes and we left, letting Mrs. Knight sleep.

"Where are we going?! Katie's school is the other way!" Kendall shouted at Logan, who was driving to the studio. "Logan!" He whined as we parked in the parking lot.

"Look, it's all of our ideas! And you need to tell him! He's very mad at you! After the last conversation," Carlos shuddered.

"What?! He told me I was an arrogant teenage idiot!" Kendall said defensively.

"You called him a fat walrus that works like a sloth and that he's the biggest jerk in the world." I said.

"Yeah, well," He mumbled.

We got out of the car, dragging Kendall and then throwing him into the office.

"Oh, look who showed up." Gustavo huffed.

"At least they're here." Kelly snapped.

"Kendall," Logan nudged him.

"We haven't been in here because my sister is in the hospital." He said.

"Really?!" Gustavo seemed...mad.

"What?!" Kendall shouted.

"Your sister broke her arm!? She fell out of a tree!? She got a concussion so you four haven't been working for weeks?!" He screamed.

"HEY!" We all shouted at him, holding Kendall in his seat. He was literally about to kill Gustavo. Kelly calmed Gustavo down.

"All I'm saying-" Gustavo began.

"She tried to kill herself!" Kendall screamed from the bottom of his lungs. "They don't know if she's going to wake up! They're cutting off all the machines in two weeks if she doesn't wake up!" He was yelling so hard that his voice went hoarse.

Gustavo's face fell and he was silent. Kelly started tearing up. Kendall was crying. Logan, Carlos, and I had to sit and watch it all. We comforted Kendall. We were more or less trying to comfort ourselves by comoforting Kendall, which sounds weird, but if you think about it, it really helps.

Gustavo sent us away, not saying a single word. He just waved his hand towards the door.

I really want to believe that behind his sunglasses, he was crying. But, I don't know that. I just really hope he was. I hoped he understood that we were all upset and we just needed time. We couldn't even work well if we tried.

We reached Katie's school and sat in the car a few minutes.

"Ready?" Kendall asked. His voice was still hoarse.

"Please, don't act like idiots." Logan said as we all got out of the car.

We walked calmly into the school auditorium. Hundreds of tiny freshamn kids were all here. The teachers were quitening them down. Kendall looked around. He looked really pissed off, and I could tell he was about to hit someone. I pushed him back a little, so he wouldn't.

Logan took a microphone and began explaining what happened to Katie.

"And- she tried to take her own life. In two weeks, if she hasn't woken up or moved or shows any signs of getting better, the doctors will turn off every machine she's on. And she'll die. Now exactly how many of you think she deserved that?" He asked. Almost everyone raised their hands.

"Well, you're all fucking wrong." Kendall said, snatching the microphone. "If you thought she didn't deserve it, you'd leave her alone. You wouldn't have made fun of her. You wouldn't have done that. And, those of you who didn't make fun of her, would have gone to a teacher if you really cared. But you don't. You're a bunch of lying idiots that have basically killed my sister. Thank you, very much. And I hope you're all happy over it." Kendall threw the microphone, but Logan caught it.

"What he means is, he's really just hurt. We ALL are. And we just want this prevented in the future. Katie was an amazing person and she's meant to do great things. Everyone is. But making fun of her like that was so uncool on so many different levels." Carlos said, after taking the mic from Logan.

I didn't say anything. If I did, I would just burst into tears. I refused to, so Logan closed this big sha-bang out with "life-altering" questions.

We left the stage. Some teenage boys followed us. We kind of ignored it until we got to the car.

"What?" Kendall glared at them.

"We just want to say that we think your sister deserved it. We all hate her. She's-" The 'leader' began, but Kendall's fist interuppted him.

The kid's mouth was bleeding. And he threw a punch back, but Kendall had him. Kendall kicked him where the sun don't shine, causing the kid to fall to the ground.

"What do you think of my sister?" Kendall looked at the other to followers.

"She's g-great." They said before running off.

We got into the car before Logan started his no violence speech.

"Logan, the kid deserved it. You know it. I know it. Carlos knows it. And James knows it." Kendall said. Logan got quite.

The ride to the hospital was silent and kind of awkward. I just wanted to go to the hospital and see Katie sitting up and laughing. Just like I hoped Gustavo was realizing the seriousness of this. Just like I hoped those kids never bullied any one ever again.

But I knew these things weren't happening. It's just too much too ask for all three to happen. It would be a miracle if they did. We needed a miracle, but we weren't getting one. I had a gut feeling over it.

**A/N: Yeah...like 3 months without an update...I'M AWFUL! :(**

**Sorry, I got caught up in schoolwork, then hanging with friends, then church, then my teachers were like "I hate you, so let me give you all the homework in the world." And...yeah. NO EXCUSES. I DESERVE YOUR HATE.**

**Crap chapter, too. I know. Just punch me already. :'(**

**I am truly sorry and hope you enjoyed it slightly. Please comment or pass on the story! It's much, much, much appreciated! It makes me happy, and I really kinda want to be happy:)**

**But yeah. Hope your week goes well! Hope you have fun! Love you all:)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: Waking Up.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Katie's POV***

I kept trying to move and stuff, but it didn't work. I had heard that they were cutting the machines off in three days. Three more days on this earth. I wanted to go home, now. I was ready.

I had made up my mind that I really wanted to wake up and go home and snuggle with the boys and my mom like old times, but I knew that wasn't happening.

I had made a rash decision, and God was going to make me follow through with it. And it was killing my inside, no pun intended.

I heard Kendall, Carlos, and James in the room. I had heard from their conversation that Logan was taking Mom home to eat. She hadn't eaten in four days, which is ridicioulous. What? Am I not gonna be here if she eats? Haaaa.

I felt someone holding my hand. I figured it was Carlos' because it was smaller and smoother than any other.

I tried squeezing his hand, repetedly. Nothing was working. I almost gave up when-

"GUYS! SHE SQUEEZED MY HAND!" Carlos screamed.

"WHAT?!" Kendall yelled. I heard things clattering. Two new hands were clinging onto mine. I gave them each a little squeeze.

"Go get the doctor! AH!" Kendall yelled and began kissing me.

I smiled in my own world. It felt good to please them and put smiles on their faces.

"SHE'S SMILING!" James yelled.

Doctors and nurses began examining my body at once. It went on for hours.

My mom came in with Logan and I squeezed their hands, making my mom cry and Logan kiss me on the cheek countless times.

Over the next two days, I showed signs of progression and they actually could stop a few machines since my brain was working now.

It was Monday. Kendall was talking incessantly. And he told me it was Monday. I didn't know how long it had been. I kinda didn't want to know.

"Oh, Katie, I can't wait to see you wake up." He said exhaustedly. He laid his head on my stomach. He was holding my hand tightly.

I tried opening my eyes and eventually, a flash of white light hit me and I moaned.

"Ow!" I said hoarsly. Kendall started yelling again and the process was repeated.

After a day of my mom and Kendall celebrating along with the doctors, everything got serious.

James, Logan, and Carlos were in my room while Kendall and my mom were discussing things with the doctor for my release.

"So, what have you been doing?" I asked, looking at them. I could tell they were still disappointed in me. I couldn't blame them.

"Nothing," Carlos said as the other two looked at the floor.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I said quietly.

"But Katie! You're missing the point! It wasn't about our feelings at all! Your feelings were all that mattered! You were hurt! You should have come to one of us and none of this would have happened!" Logan said. He sounded so desperate.

"Look, we're glad you're ok and getting better each day, but, Katie, Kendall was on the verge of quitting everything he started. Your mother hasn't seen anyone other than us, the doctors, and occasionally Bitters." James said.

"And it's not that the band isn't more important than you or anything, cause you're number one! But, still, Katie! We had to do odd jobs around the complex to keep our rent up since Kendall refused to work with Gustavo and forbid us from going there." Carlos said.

"We love you, Katie," Logan said as I wiped away some tears. "We love you a lot. Just promise us, right here, right now, that if you ever feel bad again you'll tell us. And maybe even if it's just a bad thought or something that you'd rather we not share, we won't. As long as it isn't going to hurt you in the long-run." Logan said.

"Well always be here if you need a sane brain." James said, a smile playing on his lips.

And then Kendall and my mom came in.

"Boys, I put some chicken in the oven a few minutes ago, if you could go home and pull it out, please," My mom said. Mainly to get rid of them. They kissed me goodbye and left.

"Katie, the doctors are going to release you on Saturday morning. Today's Tuesday, if you've forgotten. You'll be on some drugs, and you're required to go to a school with a specialized program made for kids with depression and other mental health issues." My mom said.

"I'm not insane." I said, defiantly.

"We never said you were. This isn't negotiable, Katie. You are required by the doctor to go. You can pout and complain all you want, but you have to go." Kendall said.

When he said that, I instantly thought of the brother I saw a few days ago. Red eyed, extremely thin, pale, purple bags under his eyes. I thought of how he was up here constantly. How worried he was. What he went through. How he never knew if the next day was my last. Whether or not he needed to plan a funeral.

I looked at him and put a smile on my face.

"All right. I'll go." I said. He smiled.

"Thank you," My mother sighed in relief.

* * *

**A/N: Woop woop! CHAPTER NINE, Y'ALL \m/ !**

**The story's coming closer and closer to an end;(**

**BUT, I have a new idea for a new story;) And I'm super excited for it! Woo-hoo!**

**So, it would be pretty cool if I could get 6 reviews for this chapter making there be fifty reviews...? possibly?! pleassseee. And maybe get to 3,000 views by the end of the story? I promise I will never go a week without updating ever again! :)**

**So, yeah! Pass the story on and be kind:)**

**~Be kind before being right~**

**(Ten points to whoever knows where that's from^^)**

**Goodbye and hope you have a lovely day!:)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven: PICFL**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Katie's POV***

I sighed out of nervousness as my mom left me alone in the mental institute building. It was really cold and clean here.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Jamison! I'll be your supervisor for your sessions. Right now, your group is going to do morning therapy and then you'll do school work, then lunch, then the end of the day therapy. The day will go by fast." She said, smiling.

She opened a door and let me in.

"I'll let you five get familiar with Katie. I'll be back in about twenty minutes!" She said and left.

The room was deathly silent.

"Hi," I squeaked before sitting down in an empty chair.

"Hi! I'm Paisley!" A golden blonde girl wearing print colors and flowery prints said, cheerfully. "That's Hannah," She pointed to a softer-golden blonde girl with wavy hair. Hannah was dressed in nice, designer clothes.

"That's Ireland," She pointed to a girl with white blonde hair, in softer colors. Ireland looked off in her own world.

"And that's Lux!" She pointed at a girl with wavy brown hair. She seemed kinda normal-er than the others, but I shouldn't judge them.

"I'm fifteen. I'm here because I was abused and I have major anxiety and depression." Paisley said, quieter, but still in her confident voice.

"I'm fifteen. And I had bulimia and depression over my dad." Hannah said.

"I'm fifteen. I had anorexia, depression, and I had schizophrenia." Ireland said.

"I'm fifteen. I have depression and anxiety over my parents. I was also a little anorexic." Lux said.

"A little?" Hannah smirked.

"Oh hush!" Lux glared at her.

"She was malnourished to the bone." Hannah looked at me.

"What about you, Katie?" Paisley asked.

"I'm fifteen. And I'm depressed from incessant bullying. And, I have anxiety over even talking to people." I said, looking at the floor.

"Don't worry. We aren't jerks!" Ireland smiled. I nodded. That didn't fix the anxiety.

"It's always nice to have another brunette!" Lux smiled.

"We had a brunette in our 'group' but she ditched us." Hannah said, using air-quotes.

"Her name was Ellie. She moved to Canada." Ireland said.

"Oh," I nodded. "To be with the Biebs?" I smiled. They laughed.

"She hated him." Hannah said, smiling.

"I can't say I like him much, either. I mean, doing drugs, cussing, being a bad boy. Not very attractive. I think he just likes those headlines and being 'bad' gets him just that." I shrugged.

"I feel ya sister!" Lux and Hannah yelled out.

"They hate him. Ireland likes him. I like him." Paisley said.

"Oh, sorry, I-" I began.

"No, we get it all the time." Ireland smiled.

"Ok," I nodded, hoping I hadn't just ticked off two of my new group members.

Dr. Jamison came back in and forced me to tell the girls everything. About my suicide-attempt. What I did. How I felt. All that juicy seemed to understand, though. Which was amazing.

Dr. Jamison was right. My day went by a lot faster. I got all of the girls' numbers in my new phone. I was given a smart phone under the agreement that my mom and Kendall were able to read the texts at any given time. I didn't mind, though. I didn't say anything bad ever.

They were basically my four new best friends. On the ride back home, I started smiling.

During lunch, we decided to have an acronym for ourselves. One that no one can really figure out. Just for the five of us.

I voted on partners in crime. Lux thought 'for life' added on would make it harder to figure out.

So, our acronym is PICFL. And we laughed every single time we yelled out, "Pic-f-el."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Eleven: PICFL**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Katie's POV***

I sighed out of nervousness as my mom left me alone in the mental institute building. It was really cold and clean here.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Jamison! I'll be your supervisor for your sessions. Right now, your group is going to do morning therapy and then you'll do school work, then lunch, then the end of the day therapy. The day will go by fast." She said, smiling.

She opened a door and let me in.

"I'll let you five get familiar with Katie. I'll be back in about twenty minutes!" She said and left.

The room was deathly silent.

"Hi," I squeaked before sitting down in an empty chair.

"Hi! I'm Paisley!" A golden blonde girl wearing print colors and flowery prints said, cheerfully. "That's Hannah," She pointed to a softer-golden blonde girl with wavy hair. Hannah was dressed in nice, designer clothes.

"That's Ireland," She pointed to a girl with white blonde hair, in softer colors. Ireland looked off in her own world.

"And that's Lux!" She pointed at a girl with wavy brown hair. She seemed kinda normal-er than the others, but I shouldn't judge them.

"I'm fifteen. I'm a freshman. I'm here because I was abused and I have major anxiety and depression." Paisley said, quieter, but still in her confident voice.

"I'm fifteen. And I had bulimia and depression over my dad." Hannah said.

"I'm fifteen. I had anorexia, depression, and I had schizophrenia." Ireland said.

"I'm fifteen. I have depression and anxiety over my parents. I was also a little anorexic." Lux said.

"A little?" Hannah smirked.

"Oh hush!" Lux glared at her.

"She was malnourished to the bone." Hannah looked at me.

"What about you, Katie?" Paisley asked.

"I'm fifteen. And I'm depressed from incessant bullying. And, I have anxiety over even talking to people." I said.

"Don't worry. We aren't jerks!" Ireland smiled. I nodded. That didn't fix the anxiety.

"It's always nice to have another brunette!" Lux smiled.

"We had a brunette in our 'group' but she ditched us." Hannah said, using air-quotes.

"Her name was Ellie. She moved to Canada." Ireland said.

"Oh," I nodded. "To be with the Biebs?" I smiled. They laughed.

"She hated him." Hannah said, smiling.

"I can't say I like him much, either. I mean, doing drugs, cussing, being a bad boy. Not very attractive. I think he just likes those headlines and being 'bad' gets him just that." I shrugged.

"I feel ya sister!" Lux and Hannah yelled out.

"They hate him. Ireland likes him. I like him." Paisley said.

"Oh, sorry, I-" I began.

"No, we get it all the time." Ireland smiled.

"Ok," I nodded, hoping I hadn't just ticked off two of my new group members.

Dr. Jamison came back in and forced me to tell the girls everything. About my suicide-attempt. What I did. How I felt. All that juicy seemed to understand, though. Which was amazing.

Dr. Jamison was right. My day went by a lot faster. I got all of the girls' numbers in my new phone. I was given a smart phone under the agreement that my mom and Kendall were able to read the texts at any given time. I didn't mind, though. I didn't say anything bad ever.

They were basically my four new best friends. On the ride back home, I started smiling.

During lunch, we decided to have an acronym for ourselves. One that no one can really figure out. Just for the five of us.

I voted on partners in crime. Lux thought 'for life' added on would make it harder to figure out.

So, our acronym is PICFL. And we laughed every single time we yelled out, "Pic-f-el."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Twelve: A New Beginning.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

***Katie's POV***

Over the course of the year, we all five got better with the help of each other. They were all going to Jefferson High School for their Junior and Senior years of high school.

I was downstairs on the couch with my mom. It was the summer before my Junior year.

"Where am I going to school next year? Since the place thinks I'm all right." I asked.

"Well, I haven't really thought about that." My mom said.

"Can I go to Jefferson High? That's where Lux, Paisley, Ireland, and Hannah are going." I said.

"I don't know, that's thirty minutes away from here-" My mom began.

"Mom, please! You know how important they are to me!" I said. She sighed.

"Yeah, I'll go look up the registration tomorrow." She nodded. I cheered and hugged her, thanking her.

That night, I stayed up listening to Taylor Swift because that seemed like the logical thing to do. I thought about the past two years of my life.

I was actually kind of thankful for what those kids did. They taught me some valuable lessons. Because of their antics, I met my four best friends. Because of them, I became stronger. Because of them, I became closer to my family.

Because of those idiots, I found myself in a hidden jumble of lies. And now, I'm on the right path. Next year will be the new beginning. And, I can officially say the cyber bullying and bullying is gone.

I wiped away the two tears falling down my cheeks. I turned off Taylor Swift, turned off my light, and climbed into bed.

I am Katie Knight. I am strong. I am a warrior. I am a surviver. And I love the way I am.

* * *

**A/N: Cheesy ending... Kill me for it! ahah. Just kidding. Please don't do that.**

**Hope you enjoyed this story! I really do! The next story is going to be EXCITING! ADVENTUROUS! And kind of SAD! BUT, I'LL INTRODUCE HUMOR! WOO-HOO.**

**I think the title will be: Lost in Thoughts. **

**Summary: Katie goes to a business seminar for teens, to help pursue her future career. The seminar is in NYC. Going alone, the thirteen year old is taken by a close fried who understands she's Big Time Rush's little sister, and worth a lot of money.**

**Hope you guys will read it!**

**And, I really do hope you learned something from here! If you're being bullied, tell someone. It's the best thing you could ever do, I promise. If you're bullying someone, stop. Seriously. It's not cute or funny. You only look like a jerk and idiot. And if you're a witness to bullying, tell someone. You could save a life. I've saved someone's life. And it blows my mind that if I hadn't done that, they wouldn't be with me anymore.**

**Love you all and thank you for the lovely support! Message me:-)**


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